Infidelity, How Can I Mend My Marriage After An Affair

By: George Saunders

Without doubt everyone plans to have a long-lasting married life, full of happiness and great times. Infidelity is the furthest thing from anyone�s mind; however, the reality is that it can happen. In a marriage there isn't very much as devastating as an affair
<BR><BR>Starting Line
<BR><BR>When you fell in love with your spouse it was a feeling difficult to describe. There was a feeling that your spouse can do no wrong. Your married life was launched with a feeling of euphoria, looking ahead towards mutually working to achieve your dreams and ambitions with each others support while working towards mutual goals
<BR><BR>As this scenario goes on, most people are painfully aware of what their spouse is doing that is tearing apart the relationship, but almost nobody examines how much they themselves may be contributing to the situation. Of massive significance is the failure to sit down and candidly discuss what is happening between the two partners. As soon as communication becomes a problem in a marriage both spouses, with time, begin to drift apart creating an ever increasing emotional, psychological and physical gap.
<BR><BR>Unmet Needs
<BR><BR>As this scenario intensifies, most people are very aware of what their partner is doing that is harming the relationship, but very few look at how much they themselves are contributing to the situation. Of huge importance is that they do not openly sit down and discuss it. Once communication breaks down in a marriage both spouses gradually drift apart leaving an ever increasing emotional, psychological and physical gap that only grows wider with time.
<BR><BR>The Ugly
<BR><BR>As a result both spouses drift apart leaving an ever increasing emotional, psychological and physical void which simply continues to grow.
<BR><BR>The Damage
<BR><BR>Sad but true is that many marriages evolve from being exciting into becoming dull after a while. Couples start taking each other for granted, communication becomes strained, trying to understand each other goes out of the door and consequently an affair becomes a means of fulfilling the emotional and/or physical needs missing in the marriage.
<BR><BR>Refocus Together
<BR><BR>As disturbing as an affair is, the question arises if the marriage is able to survive this serious event. Does it makes sense to throw away the years spent together without attempting to mutually identify, understand and resolve those issues that eventually resulted in the affair?
<BR><BR>As devastating as an affair is, the question arises if the marriage can survive this critical event. Is it justifiable to throw away the years spent together without trying to mutually identify, understand and resolve those things that ultimately led to the affair?
<BR><BR>Surviving the Event
<BR><BR>As shocking as an extramarital affair is, the question arises if the marriage can survive this violation of trust. Is it reasonable or logical to make a decision based on emotion and risk throwing away all the years spent together without at least attempting to mutually pinpoint, recognize and resolve those things that ultimately triggered the affair? After all, you do have a lot of years invested in the relationship, and a wrong decision will always leave a question if that was the right thing to do.
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