Can A Marriage Survive Infidelity?

By: George Saunders

Whether infidelity signifies the end of the marriage, or if the marriage can be saved, is dependant on several factors. It is important to understand that there are issues in the marriage that led to this heart breaking violation of trust. Without an effort to understand the underlying causes the marriage has little chance of surviving.
<BR><BR>Personality
<BR><BR>When you first met personality played a big role in attracting you to each other. At the time the chemistry was there, lots of common interests, views and dreams. The attraction between your outer selves was strong, and little faults were easy to overlook.
<BR><BR>Character
<BR><BR>Outside of the dictionary definition, character basically is the sum of all the qualities that you are born with in addition to those that you develop as a result of your life choices and experiences. These qualities encompass many areas, including but not limited to compassion, cooperation, faithfulness, forgiveness, respect, and many, many more. This really is your inner self and is not as easily observed as your personality.
<BR><BR>Before marriage, in between dating and doing things together there was a break from each other, no matter how short that may have been. In the close quarters of marriage, and over time, character traits began surfacing and playing a big role in the success of the relationship. Flexibility, mutual understanding in addition to open communications, become increasingly important in the meeting of your individual characters.
<BR><BR>A major reason many marriages fail is the inability of both spouses to connect at this level. This leads to one, or both partners becoming unhappy with the marriage, feel they are being ignored and generally there is little relevant communication as well as insensitivity towards each others needs.
<BR><BR>As a result, this situation may lead the spouse to choose to be with someone else, even if temporarily. Often this decision leads to an affair, resulting in grave consequences for both sides. When the injured spouse learns about the affair there is disbelief and the mental and physical pain is devastating. The shock and anger and the feeling of betrayal are overwhelming. And the big question is “Why they did it” and “Is it over"?
<BR><BR>Choosing a logical course of action in the charged emotional intensity of the moment is difficult. Furthermore it is tough to stop and remember the time you first met, and think of all those things that attracted you to one another. After years of commitment to each other in marriage, and having gone through many good times, some bad times and surviving through hard times, should an affair signify the end of the relationship? Not necessarily.
<BR><BR>As hurtful and heart breaking as infidelity is, it is an opportunity in disguise to revamp your lives and refocus your love relationship in ways that create honor, joy and true intimacy. Remember the good times and concentrate on ways to get back to those special things that drew you to each other in the first place.
<BR><BR>The marriage can be saved if you and your husband or wife wants to understand what’s ruining it. There often are effective measures to give couples increased odds at ending the extramarital affair, restoring honesty and <a href="grski.com/marriage infidel ity">build a awesome marriage</a>. The switch to WE instead of focusing on ME is achievable. In a nutshell it doesn’t have to be over.<BR><BR>

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